Well, it's been awhile. Okay, here it is. Yes, I'm single. Yes, I'm happy. Yes, I'm taking care of myself and my kids. So now that that's out of the way, here's my life in a nutshell. My marriage was always hard and toxic. We tried to make things work and we just couldn't make each other happy. I lost myself in the course of our relationship and spent 11 years trying to be a person I wasn't. Ultimately, that's what made my marriage fall apart. He fell in love with a person, and I changed who that person was based upon what I thought I was "supposed" to be. That led him to look for more. We were both at fault and unfortunately our kids are now placed in a very unfortunate circumstance.
The good news is that I am finally happy! I've focused on getting healthy and happy and there is so much more to life than I ever realized. My kids are happy. W loves it when we laugh and play together. He's always commenting on how great it is to see me laughing. I never realized how rare that was until I started making myself happy.
I'm also looking for a more permanent job since I'll be losing my benefits and am quickly realizing my pay is not enough to support my children and I don't want to be reliant on someone else. I deserve more than I've had in the past 10 years and it's time for me to put myself first. Unfortunately though, many employers are hesitant to hire someone that has moved so many times and has not held a job for more than 2 years at a time. Hopefully I don't suffer the rest of my life for giving up my future for a marriage that didn't work. I'm just waiting on someone to take a chance on me and give me an opportunity to show what I'm made of. I've been applying for jobs all over the northwest. It should be interesting to see where I end up. The rejection letters are starting to get old.
Anyways, just thought this would be easier than explaining to everyone what is happening. I'm going to try to update this more often as things in my life progress. I'm always looking for support and love! Love you all!!!
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Two weeks left!
So the countdown continues. I have two weeks left here in PCB and I am feeling crazy! What am I doing? Not only is my hubs leaving for a year, but I am moving across the country (2900 miles), starting a job, putting my kids in daycare, and going to be living in a town with little to no military connection. Have I completely lost my mind? I think more than anything my biggest fear is working again. I've been a stay at home mom since W was born. Well, I worked but he went with me until we moved. I've never put either kid in daycare. W is in preschool but leaving him and B with someone else for 8 hours everyday makes me so sad. I desperately need the break, but I'm going to miss my babies. The daycare I set up is awesome though. They are willing to work with my schedule and my dietary requirements. They serve locally grow produce for snacks and lunches are pretty healthy too from the sounds of it. It's going to be a huge transition for all of us.
Leaving my friends here is going to be hard too. No one else gets me besides diver wives. Even other military wives can't fully comprehend what it's like being married to a diver. We diver wives are a special breed. :)
And so it goes. Better get back to packing boxes.
Leaving my friends here is going to be hard too. No one else gets me besides diver wives. Even other military wives can't fully comprehend what it's like being married to a diver. We diver wives are a special breed. :)
And so it goes. Better get back to packing boxes.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Artifical Food Coloring
So as some of you know, I have wild children. :-) I love them with all their crazy, independent tendencies, but it would be SO nice to have them calm down just a bit. After a few very long days (and a few tears shed) I have started opening up the possibilities that maybe their craziness is not "just who they are". I am a normal mom so therefore I make excuses for my children's behavior at times. Anyways, I came across some interesting information that I thought may help.
We all know that snack foods and artificial ingredients are not healthy or beneficial, but what we don't always consider is that they may actually be detrimental to our health and our children's well being. Studies have suggested artificial food colorings, mainly Red 40, contribute to brain excitement in children and in those children with ADHD symptoms, it may actually create outbursts and exacerbate behavioral problems. Here's one interesting link. So I did a little digging into what Red 40 actually is. The chemistry behind Red 40 is pretty simple. They take petroleum products, refine it, create the azo bond through nitrogen bonding, and ta-da: Red 40.
Red 40 is everywhere it seems. It is the #1 food dye used in the US and just recently, the EU (the European version of the FDA) has begun banning certain food dyes due to their health impacts. However, here in the US, big money is to be made off health problems so nothing is ever done unless enough people make a big enough fuss. But I digress...
So, now I have my afternoon cut out for me. I will be on a quest for every food item in my house with artificial food dyes and getting rid of it. Can you tell I'm getting desperate for an answer to the behavior problems? I just hope I can get W's focus better before I fly completely off the deep end. Wish me luck!!!
We all know that snack foods and artificial ingredients are not healthy or beneficial, but what we don't always consider is that they may actually be detrimental to our health and our children's well being. Studies have suggested artificial food colorings, mainly Red 40, contribute to brain excitement in children and in those children with ADHD symptoms, it may actually create outbursts and exacerbate behavioral problems. Here's one interesting link. So I did a little digging into what Red 40 actually is. The chemistry behind Red 40 is pretty simple. They take petroleum products, refine it, create the azo bond through nitrogen bonding, and ta-da: Red 40.
Red 40 is everywhere it seems. It is the #1 food dye used in the US and just recently, the EU (the European version of the FDA) has begun banning certain food dyes due to their health impacts. However, here in the US, big money is to be made off health problems so nothing is ever done unless enough people make a big enough fuss. But I digress...
So, now I have my afternoon cut out for me. I will be on a quest for every food item in my house with artificial food dyes and getting rid of it. Can you tell I'm getting desperate for an answer to the behavior problems? I just hope I can get W's focus better before I fly completely off the deep end. Wish me luck!!!
Friday, February 10, 2012
6 weeks to go!
I was looking at the calendar today and I realized we have 6 weeks until we leave PCB (at least the kids and I). Depending on if I have a job waiting for me, I may stay or come back to help move out. This move is so bittersweet to me. While I have never felt like this area was "home" I have met some incredible women here that I am sad to leave.
I sat down with W today and read him a book about moving then told him we are moving to a new house close to Nana and Papa. Luckily my mom was able to send pictures of the house we will be living in and so I showed him the pictures, pointed out his new room and we talked about where all our furniture will go. We discussed that he will have a new school with lots of new friends to meet. His first question to me was "what are his friends names"? He couldn't be more excited to go. That's why Heavenly Father blessed me with him. He is a social bee just like his dad and makes all of this so much easier. We still haven't discussed the fact that daddy won't be there; kind of afraid of that conversation.
So here's to our new adventure and the final 6 weeks in PCB.
I sat down with W today and read him a book about moving then told him we are moving to a new house close to Nana and Papa. Luckily my mom was able to send pictures of the house we will be living in and so I showed him the pictures, pointed out his new room and we talked about where all our furniture will go. We discussed that he will have a new school with lots of new friends to meet. His first question to me was "what are his friends names"? He couldn't be more excited to go. That's why Heavenly Father blessed me with him. He is a social bee just like his dad and makes all of this so much easier. We still haven't discussed the fact that daddy won't be there; kind of afraid of that conversation.
So here's to our new adventure and the final 6 weeks in PCB.
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| W's first trip to the beach 12/2008 |
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| My loves now 1/2012 |
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Smoothies
This morning as I was making my smoothie, W asked if he could have some also. Of course I was excited because how else am I going to get him to eat greens. I poured him a glass and he drank it down and asked for more. Then he asked if we could have them again for breakfast tomorrow. Can't wait to whip up something good for him! As far as the ACV, I swear by it! I have never felt better. It stabilizes my blood sugar and has quenched every sugar craving that has come my way. Daily sodas were a horrible habit of mine and I kept stopping and starting and I swore this year I would stop drinking sodas. Didn't take me too long. I have soda in the house with absolutely no desire to drink it. We went out to dinner a few nights ago and I could barely finish the soda I ordered. One goal down, millions more to go! :)
So as I was cleaning and reading to B this morning a thought came to me that I feel inspired to share. Life's hardships should not be based upon difficulties that enter our lives, but rather the blessings that go from our lives. Considering my future circumstances, every time I think of how hard my day is, a good friend calls to get together or J walks in the door, blessings that make my life bearable. In a few months those things are going to be temporarily not possible. And before you think I am pitying myself, let me tell you, I am blessed beyond what I feel I have earned. I have two beautiful, healthy children, loving parents that have and will continue to drop everything to help me, and lifelong friendships that distance cannot tear apart. Yes, I may face incredible hardships in the next few months and following year, but life is actually coming together pretty awesomely. We have a great rental house, I have the kids preschool/daycare figured out, and I am cautiously optimistic about finding a job. Life is hard and requires constant work toward improvement, but if we stop recognizing the beauty of life, our purpose in life becomes questionable.
Love your life, love your family, love your friends. Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you. Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your commonsense. Never let your praying knees get lazy and love like crazy!
So as I was cleaning and reading to B this morning a thought came to me that I feel inspired to share. Life's hardships should not be based upon difficulties that enter our lives, but rather the blessings that go from our lives. Considering my future circumstances, every time I think of how hard my day is, a good friend calls to get together or J walks in the door, blessings that make my life bearable. In a few months those things are going to be temporarily not possible. And before you think I am pitying myself, let me tell you, I am blessed beyond what I feel I have earned. I have two beautiful, healthy children, loving parents that have and will continue to drop everything to help me, and lifelong friendships that distance cannot tear apart. Yes, I may face incredible hardships in the next few months and following year, but life is actually coming together pretty awesomely. We have a great rental house, I have the kids preschool/daycare figured out, and I am cautiously optimistic about finding a job. Life is hard and requires constant work toward improvement, but if we stop recognizing the beauty of life, our purpose in life becomes questionable.
Love your life, love your family, love your friends. Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you. Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your commonsense. Never let your praying knees get lazy and love like crazy!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Lies about fat
3 Big "fat" LIES about fat
by Jon Benson
author - EveryOtherDayDiet
Let me ask you a question:
If saturated fat causes heart disease,
don't you think that cultures that got...
oh, say... 60-70% of their calories from
saturated fat would be dropping dead?
I mean, wouldn't it stand to reason that
the vast majority would suffer clogged
arteries, massive heart attacks, strokes...
Right?
Sure. That would be the only logical
conclusion... IF saturated fat caused
heart disease.
Fortunately for you and me, it doesn't.
In fact, the cultures that eat the MOST
saturated fat (the Inuit, the Masai, the
Rendille, and others) have the LOWEST
incidence of heart disease.
The Masai do not even have a term for
it in their native language, and they
consume over 65% of their calories
from pure saturated fat.
Say whaaaat?
Listen: The "lower your fat" mantra has
just been a matter of convenience (and
profit) for the powers that be.
The grain industry has profited like a big
dog from the USRDA's ridiculous "food
pyramid" -- and "MyPlate" is not much
better, trust me.
The truth is you should lower your CARBS,
especially refined carbs, wheat, and corn...
and, yes, "healthy grains."
You don't need 'em -- at least you don't need
60-freaking-percent of your calories coming
from them, as the government suggests.
What you need is a healthy BALANCE.
Okay, here's the 3 big "fat" lies:
Lie # 1. "Fat causes heart disease."
If logic isn't enough, how about science?
Volek et al demonstrated how a LOW-fat
dietplan increased harmful fats in the
blood 300% more than a high, saturated
fat dietplan.
High-fat dietplans have consistently out-
performed low-fat dietplans when it comes
to increasing LDL particle size.
The size of your LDL is the key, not the
quantity of your LDL... and this is the one
thing everyone agrees causes plaque to
build in your arteries: Small-particle LDL.
If there is "a" cause of heart disease, it's
glycation. This is where a protein molecule
bonds to a glucose molecule and becomes
something akin to Frankenstein.
Glycated molecules are behind the nasty
accumulation of plaque... and guess what?
Sugar (carbs) is the catalyst for glycation,
NOT fat.
Lie #2. "Fat makes you fat."
This has been refuted in over 200 studies
that I could find at a 'glance', let alone in
real life. My dietary fat intake is well over
30%, and has been as high as 65% while
maintaining single-digit bodyfat.
Caution: With high fat dietplans, you must
lower your carbs to under 50-70 grams a day.
Lie #3. "Low-fat products are better for you."
90% of the time, this is blatantly false. Most
"low-fat" products that are, by nature, high
in fat, have added sugar -- and sugar is
the devil when it comes to health and bodyfat.
Now, naturally low-fat foods, like veggies
and so forth, are, of course, highly recommended
along with foods with naturally occurring fats.
Check this out here to see more LIES you've
been told about your food.
Here's to a prosperous and healthy 2012!
-Jon Dana Benson
by Jon Benson
author - EveryOtherDayDiet
Let me ask you a question:
If saturated fat causes heart disease,
don't you think that cultures that got...
oh, say... 60-70% of their calories from
saturated fat would be dropping dead?
I mean, wouldn't it stand to reason that
the vast majority would suffer clogged
arteries, massive heart attacks, strokes...
Right?
Sure. That would be the only logical
conclusion... IF saturated fat caused
heart disease.
Fortunately for you and me, it doesn't.
In fact, the cultures that eat the MOST
saturated fat (the Inuit, the Masai, the
Rendille, and others) have the LOWEST
incidence of heart disease.
The Masai do not even have a term for
it in their native language, and they
consume over 65% of their calories
from pure saturated fat.
Say whaaaat?
Listen: The "lower your fat" mantra has
just been a matter of convenience (and
profit) for the powers that be.
The grain industry has profited like a big
dog from the USRDA's ridiculous "food
pyramid" -- and "MyPlate" is not much
better, trust me.
The truth is you should lower your CARBS,
especially refined carbs, wheat, and corn...
and, yes, "healthy grains."
You don't need 'em -- at least you don't need
60-freaking-percent of your calories coming
from them, as the government suggests.
What you need is a healthy BALANCE.
Okay, here's the 3 big "fat" lies:
Lie # 1. "Fat causes heart disease."
If logic isn't enough, how about science?
Volek et al demonstrated how a LOW-fat
dietplan increased harmful fats in the
blood 300% more than a high, saturated
fat dietplan.
High-fat dietplans have consistently out-
performed low-fat dietplans when it comes
to increasing LDL particle size.
The size of your LDL is the key, not the
quantity of your LDL... and this is the one
thing everyone agrees causes plaque to
build in your arteries: Small-particle LDL.
If there is "a" cause of heart disease, it's
glycation. This is where a protein molecule
bonds to a glucose molecule and becomes
something akin to Frankenstein.
Glycated molecules are behind the nasty
accumulation of plaque... and guess what?
Sugar (carbs) is the catalyst for glycation,
NOT fat.
Lie #2. "Fat makes you fat."
This has been refuted in over 200 studies
that I could find at a 'glance', let alone in
real life. My dietary fat intake is well over
30%, and has been as high as 65% while
maintaining single-digit bodyfat.
Caution: With high fat dietplans, you must
lower your carbs to under 50-70 grams a day.
Lie #3. "Low-fat products are better for you."
90% of the time, this is blatantly false. Most
"low-fat" products that are, by nature, high
in fat, have added sugar -- and sugar is
the devil when it comes to health and bodyfat.
Now, naturally low-fat foods, like veggies
and so forth, are, of course, highly recommended
along with foods with naturally occurring fats.
Check this out here to see more LIES you've
been told about your food.
Here's to a prosperous and healthy 2012!
-Jon Dana Benson
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Here we go again!
First I want to apologize to every person that knows me. I swear my head has been in the clouds ever since B was born. Now with J leaving and us moving my head is now in outer space. I forget everything and I make plans last minute. To make matters worse, now I am becoming an emotional wreck and never know when an "episode" is going to hit. So, in an attempt to gather my wits I am on a new diet that is supposed to help with energy, sleep, and digestion. When all three of these systems are working, life seems better. Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) diet and green smoothies. Bottoms Up!
The countdown to moving continues. We have about 8 weeks until we leave for Clarkston, WA. I'll be flying the kids up to hang with my parents while J and I pack and drive the 3000 miles in a U-haul. It's been 9 years since I lived there last and I swore I would never go back. Being a military wife, it's a strange feeling to know you are finally given an opportunity to go wherever you want to move instead of being told where to go. I battled over the decision but decided it would be best to go where I have 24/7 free daycare. My mom is thrilled to get to spend a year with her grandkids. My biggest concern is how to manage being infiltrated with family. Any advice?
The countdown to moving continues. We have about 8 weeks until we leave for Clarkston, WA. I'll be flying the kids up to hang with my parents while J and I pack and drive the 3000 miles in a U-haul. It's been 9 years since I lived there last and I swore I would never go back. Being a military wife, it's a strange feeling to know you are finally given an opportunity to go wherever you want to move instead of being told where to go. I battled over the decision but decided it would be best to go where I have 24/7 free daycare. My mom is thrilled to get to spend a year with her grandkids. My biggest concern is how to manage being infiltrated with family. Any advice?
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